Everyone should have an admirable goal in life. Perhaps attend an ivy league college, cure cancer, legislate human right laws. My goal is just as lofty,  I want Paula Deen to adopt me. Sure, it’s a challenging goal, but my bio mom says I can be whoever I want to be, and damn it, I wanna be Paula Deen’s daughter. The lady makes fudge with Velveta Cheese, what more could you ask for in a role model? But the truth is, I just want to wake up under her roof one morning and be greeted with “Good mornin’ baby guurrrrl” and pecan pancakes, cheese grits, bacon, biscuits and sausage gravy. I’d cry like a baby.

I’m probably too old to ring her doorbell, and bundle myself up in a basket with a note pinned to my chest reading “Please take care of this baby.” Paula’s too clever to fall for that, so I’m working on plan B. Until then, I’ll keep Momma Paula close to my heart -- and my belly, by making one of her recipes that involves bacon. My friend Suzanne made this for her boyfriend Shrek (not his real name, but trust me, the shoe fits) and he practically proposed.Bacon Wrapped Chicken

Here’s what you’ll need:

1/2 package sliced bacon

2 boneless skinless, chicken breasts

1/3 cup firmly packed brown sugar

1 tablespoon Chili powder

A spritz of non-stick cooking spray

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cut chicken into 1-inch cubes. Cut bacon slices into thirds. Wrap each chicken cube with bacon and secure with a wooden pick. Stir together brown sugar and chili powder, and dredge wrapped chicken in mixture. Coat a rack and broiler pan with non-stick cooking spray. Place chicken on rack in broiler pan. Bake at 350 for until bacon is crisp, about 30 minutes.

I’m grateful for Paula Deen and I’m going to do whatever it takes to make her adopt me, even if it’s through less than admirable means. Paula has two sons and one of them is still single. Me and Bobby Deen, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a perfectly baked honey ham, covered in a cripspy brown sugar glaze with all the sides and fixin’s in a baby carriage.

That’s why I’m grateful for Paula Deen.