This morning I received an email from Apple with a list of new iPhone applications.  I sent the following reply.

Dear Apple,

Forget Twitterrific, Lonely Planet language translator and Tipulator. You need to create an app that contributes to the betterment of mankind. Please invent an app that drops a pin where the most eligible bachelor is, depending on my current location. Millions of women would gladly pay $1857.00 to download a “Boyfriend Finder” app.

TTFN,

Gratitude Cocktail Girl

I’m not the best judge of boyfriend material, so I can use this app on the double. The last guy I dated was so obsessed with his car, the only way he’d sleep with me was if I covered myself in carnauba wax and gave myself an Armor All body mist. In retrospect, I may have seemed too desperate in my last email to Apple, so I sent another one where I was totally professional and not the least bit cuckoo bananas.

Dear Apple,

I’m grateful for iPhone apps like Yelp, because they help locate important things like the closest Bloomin’ Onion. Perhaps I was a little demanding in my last email when I asked for a “Boyfriend Finder” app. If you cannot create one, would you please invent the next best thing? Please create a Voodoo Doll app so I could stick pins into the jerks I’ve dated in the past.

So far no reply. I’ll keep you posted.

That’s why I’m grateful for iPhone apps.