There’s a cranky girl at my office who wakes up at 4:30am every morning for boot camp. I couldn’t wake up at 4:30am if my pillow was on fire. She meets up with a group of deranged people who pay good money to get yelled at for an hour. By the time she limps into work with her chapped nipples and shin splints, it’s no wonder she’s not in a chipper mood. However, if it existed, there’s one exercise program I’d be motivated to stick with…
(Cue fantasy music) A soft focus shot of a super hot drill sergeant in military fatigues walks past me and a line-up of my best girlfriends. He looks us up and down, smacks a riding crop in his hand and says “Welcome to Vagina Boot Camp. This course includes grooming, agility, and strength training. By the end of 12 weeks you’ll all have lean, mean, fighting machines! So drop and give me 20 Kegels!”
(Cut back to reality) Everyone should find an exercise program that’ll keep them happy and motivated. Here’s my motivation--No guy is going to fall in love with me because I can run a 10k, but every guy will fall in love with my super strong vagina. Forget about runners high, those endorphins can’t scratch the surface of after sex coma. I’m grateful I found an exercise program I can stick with because I can do Kegels while I’m in the car, while I’m watching Project Runway and even while I drink a martini. Who cares about yoga poses like downward facing dog? I’m mastering downward facing boyfriend.
That’s why I’m grateful for finding an exercise program I can stick with.