Women have a myriad of body issues to deal with, from our under eye circles, dry elbows to chin hairs that seem to grow two inches overnight making catfish jump out of streams to exclaim “damn girl, trim those whiskers.” All of which make me hesitant to bring this strange new product to your attention, so please, don’t shoot the messenger.

There’s a new mint on the market called Linger. It’s described as (I’m using quotes here because I swear on a stack of brownies this didn’t come from me) “a small, naturally sweetened flavoring, free of artificial dyes, which was created to flavor the secretions of a woman when she is sexually aroused.  Linger is shaped for comfort during insertion and use, and is formulated to dissolve slowly, so the effects last and last. Linger is designed for slow release-extending the time your partner will want to spend tasting the new you." Or in plain English, it’s a TicTac for your kit kat.

Call me a prude, but my vagina is not a piñata. I’m grateful for this strange new product because it reminds me that clever marketers know how to prey on our insecurities and make us feel bad about our bodies. Listen to me ladies, you are fine just the way you are. Girls just need a little soap and water and some self-confidence. Guys don’t worry about this stuff. No guy in the world would buy something like a Glade Plug-in for his boxers – although, I’m not naming names, but you know who you are, Stinky Gym Guy. Quit listening to marketers too, all that Axe body spray isn’t fooling anyone.

That’s why I’m grateful strange new products.