Today begins “The Trilogy of Single Terror” where Thanksgiving, Christmas (insert alternate December holiday depending on your religion and political correctness) and New Years Eve converge. As much as it pains me to say it, and you know I’m all about girl-power, but it’s much nicer spending the holidays with a hunky chuck of testosterone by your side to pass the gravy boat – and fend off weird uncle Ted.

This year I’m throwing an idea out into the single girl stratosphere, you may chose to embrace or ignore. (To those of you who chose to ignore it, what am I going to do with you? Do you want to stay single forever?) In the same way major retailers lower their prices for the holiday season, single women should lower our dating expectations, for a little while, just to move our product off the shelves. Once the holidays are over, we can re-stock and go right back to our high-end luxury standards.

For those doubting Thomasina’s out there, you may wonder where you can find this Filene’s Basement of discounted men. It’s easy. Pick a bar, any bar on Thanksgiving night. Listen up buttercup, you’ve never seen such a beaten-down, motley crew of men who were forced to endure a day with relatives they spend the rest of the year avoiding. So go ahead, approach a guy, he doesn’t have to be the man of your dreams -- remember, it’s clearance time, try him on for size. And for that additional 50% off feeling, no matter what you say, you’ll seem charming beyond belief (particularly when compared to his aunt Hilda’s 2-hour story about her goiter.) Chances are, he’ll also be a few drinks in, which means he’ll be relaxed, open-minded and hopefully super-horny. He’ll fall head over loafers before he knows it.

Tonight while most single girls are drying their dishpan hands and packing up leftovers for their goiter filled relatives, you’ll be the only girl in a bar surrounded by men hungry for an excuse to be away from their families. I’m grateful for Thanksgiving because tonight’s the one night you can go to a bar and you don’t have to compete against other women. It’s like being the lone shopper at Neiman Marcus when there’s a 90% off sale, and you’re surrounded by commission-based salesclerks. So go out tonight, dig though that sale bin and find yourself a gravy boat passing man to enjoy for the holiday season.

That’s why I’m grateful for Thanksgiving.