Thankfully, my taste in men and cocktails has matured. I used to drink Boones Farm Strawberry Hill and date guys who wore Von Dutch baseball caps (wait, it gets worse) backwards. I told you so. But now, I like my wine and my men cap free. As I get older I like to think I’m getting wiser, but I still need help in the guy department. I think  girls should come together for some on-line networking. Just like CarFax, we can have GuyFax. In a few clicks we'd have a guy’s entire dating history and we can avoid the lemons.

Carfax vs GuyFax Searches

Carfax: Number of owners

Guyfax: How many times he’s been married

Carfax: Accident history

Guyfax: Number of kids he has

Carfax: Odometer tampering

Guyfax: His real age

Carfax: Unnecessary airbag deployments

Guyfax: Is he a premature ejaculator

Carfax: Rental car history

Guyfax: Just like Enterprise, he'll pick anyone up

GuyFax can report positive things as well like, “Tommy is kind, honest and he wears so much Axe body spray, the roaches will avoid your apartment for a month.” GuyFax will also save girls a ton of time and money by avoiding guys who lie, cheat, steal and continually watch Real Sex on HBO hoping to catch the episode where clowns have sex, in their big shoes, honking noses, while smearing make-up all over each other. That’s a hand-buzzing-deal-breaker.

To make sure those sneaky guys can’t exchange notes on us, I’ll register the flowing URL’s GirlFax, ChickFax, and for the more urban men out there, BitchFax. I don’t want anyone to know my vagina’s Avis Rent-a-car past – hey, I was in college, don’t judge. I’m grateful networking, because just as CarFax helps vehicle purchasers avoid the clunkers, GuyFax will help single girls avoid the losers.

Today I’m grateful for networking.