While aimlessly working on my next blog, and diligently working on my next sleeve of Double Stuf Oreos, I received an email, jarring me out of my sugar and hydrogenated oil haze. The note was from a sailor in the US Navy who’s currently deployed in Iraq. He also sent his picture, and let me tell you, this guy is badass. Any Iraqi who runs into this sailor is going be so scared, he’ll pee-pee his dish-dashah.

This got me thinking. Military guys are hunky, alpha-male, dream dates that treat women like ladies, even with an occasional “yes Ma’am” thrown in for good measure. Civilian guys are jaded, metrosexuals whose closest hand to hand combat situation is confronting the dry cleaner after losing a button. So I came up with a list of 10 practical reasons to date a man in the military.

1. Military men are task oriented. They know how to make a quarter (and your bare butt) bounce off a bed.

2. These guys are in amazing shape for their fitness evaluations. When you see them naked for the first time, you’ll understand shock and awe.

3. After months of MRE’s, no matter how awful you cook, it’ll be appreciated and consumed in 1.7 seconds.

4. If he can protect our entire country, he can protect you from a creepy guy at the bar that won’t leave you alone. (Chances are, the creepy guy is a civilian.)

5. He’s learned to use his hands like weapons, and weapons like they’re hands, so he won’t think twice about killing a spider in your bedroom.

6. A man who knows how to iron, imagine that.

7. Unlike civilian guys, he won’t spend more time in the bathroom doing his hair than you do.

8. Have you seen Officer and a Gentlemen? ‘Nuff said.

9. If he can carry a wounded comrade miles to safety, he can easily transport you to bed after you’ve had too much to drink.

10. A military guy can reassemble a rifle with his eyes closed, in the dark, so he can easily find your g-spot without a roadmap.

We must honor our men in the military, guys who are willing to give their lives for our freedoms. Forget about letters and care packages, let’s respectfully pay tribute to these heroes with bootie calls, sexting and nudie pics from our phones. I’m grateful for military men because if they’re willing to give their lives for our country, it’s the least we can do to give “it” up as well. Single girls, don’t let the terrorists win, it’s your patriotic duty to sleep with a service man to thank him for protecting our personal, religious and most important, sexual freedoms. God Bless America!

PS: If you're a serviceman reading this, help out your fellow grunt and forward this to as many women as you can, just use this link:

http://www.gratitudecocktail.com/previous-cocktails/168-today-im-grateful