Men’s Health Magazine ran an article naming the most unhealthy restaurant menu items across the US, and my beloved cocktails were not immune from this calorie counting witch hunt. They named the most offensive adult beverage in America -- for me, that’d be a glass of prune juice, but for them, it was Red Lobster’s signature drink, the Lobsterita.

While the name conjures up visions of a highball filled with blended shellfish and a butter chaser, it’s really the Lob’s take on the strawberry margarita. Men’s Health says it’s “bad” because it contains 890 calories. But I feel the need to defend the defenseless here. The Lobsterita is big – 24oz to be precise, it’s made with respectable tequila and it’s served in a comically large margarita glass. It also comes with a string of Mardi Gras beads and a giant Lobster love charm on the end. Bad? Me thinks not. Bad taste, well that’s still up for discussion.

Just like dogs, there are no “bad” cocktails in my book, only bad bartenders. I’m grateful signature drinks because that way I can go out to dinner and get all of my calories from cocktails and avoid that unhealthy restaurant food.

That’s why I’m grateful for signature drinks.