*I’m not talking about something that tucks away in a nightstand – shame on you.

Keggerators, it’s time for you to do the gentlemanly thing, step aside and make way for the girlie addition to the home bar. The Margarator is a new appliance that’ll revolutionize the lives of blended margarita lovers all over the world. Unlike those bulky keggerators that are problematic to take with you on road trips, Margarators are portable and they run on AC or DC. (I’m not exactly sure what that means, but I guess it’s a good thing if it means you can plug it into your car’s cigarette lighter for tailgate parties.)

However, my Margarator isn’t traveling anywhere, and I may even store it in my room for safe-keeping. My friends can’t be trusted to return sweaters they’ve borrowed, so there’s no hope I’d ever get a machine back that turns juice and tequila into a 40-proof Slurpee. Tonight I’ve invited my sweater stealing girlfriends over for Margarator/Movie night. Because it’s exclusively a girls night, I’m going to make the margaritas “strawbewwy” – that’s not a typo, these drinks are sweet, sour and so strong they’ll sneak up on you and make it impossible to pronounce your “r’s.”

For the underprivileged, non-Margarator homes, you can play along tonight by filling a blender with ice and adding:

2 oz of triple sec

8 oz of frozen strawberries and the juice

4 oz frozen limeade concentrate

and what you’ve al been waiting for…

8 oz of tequila

You can always cut back on the tequila if you want, it’s your life and I’m not going to tell you how to live it. You’re also probably one of those people who looks both ways before you cross the street, wears the seatbelt in cabs and washes off the soda can before you take a swig. Okay, I do all of those things too, but that makes up for the reckless way I drink. I’m grateful for new appliances like the Margarator because it’s an appliance I'll actually use, as opposed to ineffectual items like the toaster, food processor, rice cooker—and that appliance I keep hidden in my nightstand.

That’s why I’m grateful for new appliances.