Every once in a while I read a quote that resonates with me.

“Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.”

That was not one of them. Supposedly Kate Moss said this was her motto and I’m sure it was a misquote. What she really said was “Nothing tastes as good as cocaine feels,” then she chain smoked a pack of cigarettes, combed her hair until it came out in clumps and brushed her teeth with heroin. Sorry Kate, but if that’s your motto, you’re talking out of your size zero ass.

I went on a cleansing fast once, but by lunchtime I had amnesia and the “all you can eat” Chinese Buffet people invited me inside and told me I was their friend, so I had to be polite and eat until my stomach was the size and shape of a large yoga ball -- and I felt pretty damn good. Maybe skinny feels good to some people, but skinny makes me feel hungry ALL THE TIME. And hunger makes me angry, and it makes me mean, and then I get the shakes, and next thing I know I’m driving through questionable neighborhoods looking for a fast food fix. I guess you could say food is my drug and heroin is Kate’s drug, so I’ll stick with the Doritos and Kit Kats, thank you very much.

If you’re starving yourself to stay skinny, then you aren’t really skinny and you’re setting yourself up for failure. I’m grateful for mottos that make sense like “The only diet I’ll ever try is one that considers gravy a beverage.” I think Kate Moss’ motto resonates with people about as much as her perfume (you can find it in the discount bin at Wallgreen’s). I love my body the way it is. I love my curves and my lumps and my bumps and I’m in shape -- okay maybe I’m not “in shape” but round is “a shape” and that’s close enough for me. From now on, I have a motto too.

“Nothing tastes as good as skinny fries.”

That’s why I’m grateful for mottos.