Girl Scouts are 12 year-old marketing geniuses. Donald Trump could take notes from these girls because they know how to spot a broken business model and revise it within an inch of its teeth. Girl Scouts used to go door to door, but now they’ve formulated the brilliant strategy of making the parents do all the dirty work. These mini-tycoons, sit on their fat merit badges, playing video games while mom or dad (in my case, it’s my evil boss) walks around the office with the sign up sheet. He’s transformed from business professional, to cookie extortionist. Where’s HR when you need ‘em? I’d so much rather be sexually harassed.

If I have to choke down another Thin Mint or Tagalong, I’ll slit my wrist with my staple remover. (Okay, if you hold a gun to my head I could still eat a Samoa, those lumpy ones covered in caramel, toasted coconut and a chocolate stripe). Mercifully those entrepreneurial little Girl Scouts have come up with a new flavor for 2010, the Thank U Berry Munch -- with a lame-ass pun like that, it has to be good. They’re described as delightfully tart, hearty cookies sweetened with creamy, white fudge chips. I guess I’ll order a box, and like I do every year, throw them in my garbage can. Then around 3 o’clock they’ll magically make their way back onto my desk, and next thing I know someone has eaten every single cookie and left crumbs on my upper lip.

As much as I hate cookie harassment, at least I know my money is going to a good cause. Unlike when I buy illegal diet drugs from Mexico where I could possibly be funding an Al Qaeda resistance cell – but what’s a chubby girl to do? I’m grateful for Girl Scouts because you gotta hand it to them, those little girls know how to make a buck and hopefully, at the end of the cookie selling season, my backside won’t end up looking like a huge, lumpy Samoa.

That’s why I’m grateful for Girl Scouts.