No one will ever confuse me with Rachel Ray, firstly because I can’t cook and secondly – my voice doesn’t sound like I smoked a carton of cigarettes before noon. But there’s one thing I can throw together when I’m too busy lazy to make a trip to the store. I can bake killer chocolate chip cookies. While I’m speaking figuratively, Nestle makes killer chocolate chip cookies literally. Samples of their cookie dough came up positive for E. coli after 72 people were infected with the bacterium. Never fear, due to the contamination, Nestle has recalled the product and will change the name from Toll House to Out House. (Okay, I made that up, but they should).

Doctors say the dough is perfectly harmless if baked according to the package directions. Seriously people, who makes cookies without popping some cookie dough in their gob? If that person exists, the Weekly World News has its next cover story. Headline “Freak of nature found! Woman likes cookies better than cookie dough!”

Maybe this recent glut of food borne illness is a sign. Maybe it’s Julia Child’s ghost exacting a warning for those of us who don’t know our spatulas from our springforms.  I’m grateful I can cook -- if I have to because all these E. coli scares make me think it’s Julia’s not-so-subtle way of saying, modern girls need to learn to cook and not rely so much on processed foods. Then again she could just be telling us to follow the directions on the package.

That’s why I’m grateful I can cook -- if I have to.