Today I'm grateful
for Google searches.

We live in amazing times. Technology generously hands us the answers to life’s most difficult questions at the click of a button. These days, when it comes to dating, it’s so (insert your preferred expletive -- I have too many favorites to chose only one) easy to decipher the keepers from the creepers. While our fore-sisters had to search their boyfriends pockets, wallets or collars for incriminating evidence, we only have to check his Google search history.

Keeper Searches

How to invest my millions

Romantic restaurants

Will my extremely large penis be uncomfortable for her?

Unique ways to propose

24-hour donut shops

Creeper Searches

Can I boil hot dogs in bong water

Why does it burn when I pee

Star Trek conventions 2010

How to defraud the unemployment department

MySpace

Nowadays you don’t have to be Veronica Mars to suss out weather or not you’ve found a decent guy. I’m grateful for Google searches because after looking for stretch-mark cream, moustache bleach and “is there such a thing as bacon cookie dough?” I’m (insert your second favorite expletive) smart enough to hit “clear history.”

That’s why I’m grateful for Google searches.






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Forget about rainbows and unicorns, I’m grateful for double martinis, single men and pretty much anything covered in chocolate or cheese. This gratitude journal is anonymous because the stuff that tends to fall out of my head and land on the page makes HR departments cringe -- and guys lose my number.
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