Is it possible to fall deeply in love with a shoe? Not just any shoe, but a sleek, swarthy Christian Louboutin platform you know in your heart-of-hearts was made for you and you’d be willing to take a pledge, in front family, friends and God that you’ll stay together forever, until death do you part? Meet the shoe of my dreams, isn’t he handsome? I’m kind of embarrassed because we met on-line, but that’s how modern relationships start these days.

My mother (who is probably just jealous because I can still wear platforms and she can’t) doesn’t approve. She doesn’t like my perfect platform shoe because of some stupid study in England showing that epidemic levels of women (over 200,000) who wear high heels, have sought medical help for their feet. Over one third of these women are left with permanent damage. The most common affliction being bunions, which are actually a deformity of the bone and the only way they can be fixed is through surgery. (I’m not going to mention hammer toes, shin splints, back problems and even nerve damage, because no shoe this gorgeous can be that abusive, I refuse to believe it.

I don’t see what’s the big deal. No matter what my orthopedic-shoe wearing mom says, I’m grateful for the perfect pair of platform heels because I believe in true love. Not all relationships are free from grief, but unconditional love makes all the pain worthwhile – just like childbirth. Only, I don’t recommend ever getting pregnant because your feet swell and then you can’t fit into any of your platforms – no baby is worth all of that.

That’s why I’m grateful for the perfect pair of platform heels.