I don’t read Perez Hilton because he’s so arrogant and let’s face it – he’s gotten too big for his enormous britches. I’m done supporting websites that defame people and spread the black ooze of negativity for profit. Which leaves me in a pickle. I don’t think I’ll be able to read the Daily Beast anymore because they posted an article unfairly slandering one of my closest, dearest loves – bacon. They actually have the audacity to pose the question, “has bacon jumped the shark?” I ran to the fridge, pulled out a slab, and rocked back and forth, holding my well-marbled, salty buddy and softy whispered “there, there little piggy, everything is going to be just fine.” And then I fried him up in a pan and ate him.

The article claims we’ve gone hog wild inventing bacon flavored food items. Personally, I think bacon inspired dishes are like shoes or handbags -- the more the merrier. A few of my new bacony favs are bacon mayonnaise, bacon coffee, bacon cereal, bacon ice cream and bacon mints. Here’s a link to the gallery if you’re into looking at photos of bacony-genius, and who isn’t. (I’m not placing a question mark at the end of that sentence because it’s a statement, not a question.)

I’m grateful for my friend bacon because unlike trendy foods, bacon is here to stay. Sure, bacon may be suffering from a bit of overexposure, but that’s something we’ll have to work on. Maybe bacon just needs a new publicist, but to all you bacon haters, just know, bacon never judges, bacon only loves unconditionally. These new foods prove bacon gets along with everyone, so much so, I’m convinced even Perez Hilton couldn’t find one nasty thing to say about it.

*Thanks to Nikki McDaniel for sending me the best bacon cartoon ever drawn. You can check it out here in the GC members lounge.

That’s why I’m grateful for my friend, bacon.