From now on the expression “The road to hell is paved with good intentions” must be changed to “the road to hell is paved with dinner parties.” It started out so harmless, just a few friends, some nibbles and cocktails. What could go wrong? The answer is simple – me and my big mouth. I asked everyone if they had any diet restrictions, to which they basically all said the same thing “I don’t eat (insert at least four food groups) but don’t go out of your way.”  Here’s the actual cumulative list of things I had to avoid: red meat, fish, chicken, shell fish, pork, cheese, pepper, nuts, milk, eggs, salt, and anything that wasn’t locally grown. Never invite a locavore to a dinner party – they won’t believe you grew the coffee beans on your terrace, no matter how accomplished you are at lying.

I made a “serve yourself” taco bar so everyone could pick and choose what they wanted. The big hit of the night was my mango salsa.

Everyone’s Favorite Mango Salsa

1 mango fresh or frozen, diced (about 1 1/2 cup)

1/4 medium red onion, finely chopped

1/2 Jalapeño chili, minced (or 2 dashes of Tobasco -- it’s easier)

1 clove minced garlic

1 tsp sugar

2 Tbsp fresh cilantro leaves, chopped

2 Tbsp fresh lime juice


Just throw it all in a bowl and it’s good to go on chips, quesadillas, fish, pork, and it’s so pretty, those pesky locavores couldn't resist. I’m grateful for my mango salsa because it’s so easy, even a monkey (or a drunky) can make it. In the end, my party was a huge success because while my friends aren’t omnivores, they’re all boozivores, and they drank everything.

That’s why I’m grateful for mango salsa.