Marriage therapists are going to have to consider a new line of work because a revolutionary invention has hit the conjugal bed -- and it just may make divorce obsolete. It’s called the Better Marriage Blanket, and while it looks like your run of the mill comforter, it has a secret imbedded inside. Because I’m too shy to talk about it, you’ll have to click here to watch the commercial.

Move over Snuggie, looks like there’s a new blankey in town and it’s a toot trapper. The site says it’s made from the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons. What are these women feeding their husbands at night, Napalm burritos? Personally, I think they’re marketing this to the wrong demographic. They’d make a million, kazillion dollars if they invented a Better Dog Blanket -- my parent’s sheepdog could clear out an entire culdesac when he was having stomach issues. The only problem with the Better Dog Blanket -- then who would my dad have to blame?

The website claims “The Better Marriage Blanket is an odor eliminating blanket and it makes a great gift for weddings, anniversaries and birthdays.” Uuuuhhhh, call me crazy, but the last thing I’m going to give my friend is a blanket where her fiancé would have to dutch oven her, just to see if it worked. I’m grateful for the Better Marriage Blanket because now I know the reason most relationships break apart. It’s not because of finances, religious differences or infidelity, it’s late-night gastrointestinal issues. Which begs the question, why do we need marriage therapists when we have Beano?

That’s why I’m grateful for the Better Marriage Blanket.