Let’s say I’m walking down the street and I find $60. It’s pretty safe bet, even though it’s free money, I won’t be spending it on the newest beauty tend, the Vajacial -- a facial for your lady parts. My, oh my, if I’m sharing this with you, it must be a slow news day.

Here’s a description of the treatment:

“The Vajacial takes 50 minutes and it involves four steps. First, skin is cleansed with an antibacterial body wash and witch hazel. Then, a papaya-based exfoliating gel goes on before the esthetician extracts ingrown hairs. After that, an anti-freckle, anti-acne, or calming mask is applied. It finishes off with an application of lightening cream.”

I understand this treatment is intended to be silly, and giggly and girlie, but my skin is pretty sensitive. Once I wore panties washed in Tide and had an allergic reaction so bad, it looked like I had a baseball glove between my legs. (TMI anyone?)

I’m grateful I don’t need a facial -- down there, because after all the papaya stuff and lightening cream comes off, I’d be limping down to the drug store for a case of Vagisil. I don’t mean to sound like a broken record, or CD or download (however the kids are saying it these days) but it seems like this is just another marketing ploy to get women to think they’re only beautiful if they look a certain way -- and have a papaya in their panties. We need to think more like men. They aren't stupid enough to fall for this stuff, which is why there will never be a nutsackacial.

That’s why I’m grateful I don’t need a facial.